My life as an enderman
by samzeman
Summary: 21 year old, Flynn Azaeraphale is out in the forest one day, getting wood for his small, 3 person town when he finds a single purple porkchop. On 3 and a half nuggets of food, he feels that anything is better than starvation...*500th MC story! WOOHOO!
1. Prologue

**Hey readers, sorry about the fact i haven't made a story in like, 4 years. I just never really got round to it. Anyways, i was sitting on the sofa one day and i came up with this idea****.****at first i thought of an Enderman blending in with human society, but that would be way too... Predictable. Anyways (again) Authors notes will be in square brackets, bold and italic, and everything else is story. So,**

**ENJOY!**

**[BTW ****Endermen are actually friendly, it's just that when you look at them they are overcome with an epic jealousy of your beautiful Human eyes, as theirs are dull and bland, and so they automatically jump towards you, they can't control themselves]**

******P.S I am a little bit of a grammar nazi now. Not properly, but it really makes me angry if i don't use capital letters or commas in the right place.**

**======================================-{o}-==========================================**

"Hey! im going out for a bit, anyone want to come with me?" Flynn said. A chorus of no's met his ears. His smaller brother, Alex Azaeraphale, was 'making' his first sheep farm, using the flamboyant colours Flynn got from his mining trips (Lapis lazuli mixed with cactus etc.), and Cuba Riordan, his older mining buddy, was trying for a level 50 enchantment on his pickaxe, Which would take a while.

And so Flynn set off, humming and gently bumping his axe on his knee as he went. He started chopping down trees, and soon there were none left. He checked the sky and saw the sun was just about to set. 'I'd better be getting back to the village.' He thought, and so he set off. Just as he could see the walls of the town, a voice that Flynn knew was an Enderman**_[A/N Human names have capitals, so why not Endermen?]_ **whispered behind him. To him it was nonsense, but the Enderman was actually trying to alert him that he'd gone off his pathway and was just about to fall into an overgrown ravine**_._**But as Flynn didn't use the same spectrum of sound he just turned around and wildly slashed at the tall dark figure.

The Enderman managed to teleport away just in time, but Flynn wasn't so lucky. He tumbled down the side of the ravine, his shins on fire. When he landed at the bottom, he realized he hadn't paid attention to how hungry he was.

So then he sat at the bottom of this hopeless ravine, 3 and a half nuggets of hunger left and half a heart.

He knew he was in trouble.

**======================================-{o}-==========================================**

**This was just a prologue, to get you introduced to the story, ill try and write longer chapters in future. JEEZ! The authors that inspire me never said writing was THIS hard!**

**Rate and Review!**

**[_0_] [_0_]**


	2. Chapter 1

**Soooooo, heyo readers. Thanks for the reviews, I never expected one from ****Mellifluousness**** lol :P. But seriously, they help. I'm going to try and update as much as I can from now on (I was before really) and I hope you enjoy. **

**Btw, Underlined squiggly brackets signal an event **_**{**__**A block of sand falls}**_** Etc**

**[I use the newest snapshot in my stories so that's how he writes]**

**======================================-{o}-====================**

Flynn was still stuck in the ravine, so hungry he didn't have the energy to sprint. He had been there for half an hour now, and he had one and a half nuggets of food left. He was wandering around for a quarter of that and had come across a few things, and as he had some paper and a quill he wrote a list of the things he could see in the ravine.

1.A perplexed looking zombie under some overhanging rock (just spawned).

2.A dark crater in a wall.

of lava through the roof of an overhang.

4.A water pool.

5.A purple tinged rock in the floor.

He thought the zombie would be no threat, so he investigated the crater. He found nothing of value, just some cobble. It was probably a creeper startled by a skeleton. He knew as long as he didn't dig into the lava he'd be fine, and he didn't particularly need a water pool at the moment.

So he went and investigated the purple rock. It felt strange and spongy, yet fleeting, like it would disappear at any moment. When he disturbed it a coarse purple dust was released. As he wanted to see if this was the only one of this mysterious kind of mineral, he dug down and around it.

{Half a hunger nugget left}

Flynn inhaled sharply. It looked like he would have to come back and get his stuff after death, which he really didn't want to do as dying was a terrible experience (He had to be dragged through all the dimensions to get back alive) and it would be annoying to have to try and find the ravine again.

'_Thud.'_ He landed beneath the purple rock. He could just about see, and he realised he could see a pork-chop in front of him! He dived onto it ravenously and realised, oddly, that the pork-chop was purple. He didn't care though, he was too hungry.

The pork-chop had healed 3 whole hunger nuggets, and he could think rationally now. Flynn realised he had his stone sword that he always took with him, and he could have just killed the zombie and eaten it's weirdly sickly sweet flesh. Ah well, a pork-chop wasn't as disgusting and it didn't make him feel sick.

Speaking of not feeling sick, he felt... amazing! That pork-chop must have been from some weird pig, because he felt like he could jump four times as high as he usually could. He jumped as high as he could, and he felt like he was being pulled through a 1x1 block space, backwards.

He inhaled in an odd way, almost sounding like an enderman, and rose to the top of the ravine somehow. He thought it must just be a glitch, and carried on travelling home to tell his friends of the ravine he had found.

{In the darkness, Flynn fails to notice a trail of mysterious purple particles leading into the ravine...}

**======================================-{o}-====================**

**Hope you enjoyed! As always, any kind of feedback is appreciated, just try and be friendly and don't be too mean please :P**

**UPDATE:Do you think i should merge two chapters together next time? so it's twice as long?**

**If you liked it, Let me know! Rate and Review, it helps.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Herro! Good to see you're still reading lol. **

**I was thinking, should I update every week, or whenever I've finished a chapter, or even when I get 3 reviews? Because every week you would definitely know when you could read a bit more, but every time I have a chapter would be faster but less stable, and three reviews would make sure I wasn't just writing to myself.**

**Anyways, on with the story:**

**[P.S This is all using minecraft time, they have no idea of any real world concepts such as electricity/rounded corners lol. There are actually a few things that aren't in the game that i've included here, but im trying to keep it more minecrafty than real-world-ish]**

**[P.P.S Flynn's minecraft skin is, uh, well, ill leave it to your imagination! It can be what you want]**

**==========================================-{o}-========================**

Flynn opened the door. He was coming home late, so everyone started crowding around him and fussing. "I'm fine! No, really!" exclaimed Flynn as his friends handed him food and told him of how worried they had been.

As Flynn managed to calm them down, he noticed his hands were coated in a fine black dust. Disputing it as coal he had mined earlier, he went to bed and dreamed of dancing Endermen holding blocks of that mysterious purple rock in the air, moving with sweeping gestures and throwing the blocks into the air occasionally. He woke up extremely freaked out by this dream.

The day had plenty of jobs, so Flynn soon forgot about his dream. Firstly, as the one with the most patience he was told to dig out the gravel that had collapsed into the mine a day before, and that took at least half the day even with an iron shovel.

Secondly, he had to get some sand for glass, as _he was the one that was the most patient._ This didn't take long as they needed glass panes and it only took 6 sand/glass to make 16. So he went and got sixty-six sand blocks and got home ('176 glass panes should be enough', he thought).

And his last task, standing near enough to the mob grinder to get the mobs to spawn for half an hour (He was the most patient). His brother had found a wolf pack a few days ago and encircled them in fence. And so he waited by the skeleton grinder...

{_Half an hour passes}_

"GAH!" Flynn jumped away from the grinder with a stack and a half of bones, and two stacks of arrows. Finally! He was free! So e went to his brother and realised it was almost night. He gave the bones to his brother, kept the arrows and went to his farm to collect some stuff. Of course, since he had been away for nearly a day all his crops had grown, and he harvested.

Then he went home and put stuff in his chest. He took the newly smelted glass out of his furnace and crafted it into panes. He gave a stack to everyone else and kept the rest, and put the panes in his windows. As he went to bed and took off his armour, he saw his reflection. His eyes had a tint of purple. 'Ah well,' Flynn thought 'Probably these new tripwire redstone lamps I installed.' As he drifted into sleep, he realised he hadn't activated the lamps yet...

**==========================================-{o}-========================**

**Ohhh! I don't know why but I love cliffhangers too much at the moment :P. Anyways, review as always, and I hope you enjoyed.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Heyooooo, everone! I can't believe I managed to actually update so frequently! Eh, im glad though. I might just be perhaps maybe possibly be taking character ideas for new chapters, make sure to include all your information in your reviews!**

**[and purpleexplodingbannanas? Yes, the change is gradual]**

**===================================-{o}-================================**

'Ooh' groaned Flynn as he got out of bed. He went to the window and looked out. "Psch," rainy as usual. Then he noticed something strange. If he jumped, his head hit the ceiling (he had a three block high house) and his skin was looking darker than usual. Thinking it was a new change to the world by their creator, Notch, he dismissed it as an 'Update'

Today, he felt like going out and being alone for a while. So he got a sign, placed it, and on second thoughts realised he could just write it on paper. He put the sign away and got his axe and pickaxe in case he found something valuable. He wrote a note to his friends saying 'I've gone out for a bit, to explore, I'll be back by sunrise!'

And so he set off, across the plains into the woodlands he had been into before. He hadn't forgotten about the ravine though, so he came with full hunger and lots of cobble. When he discovered the ravine he couldn't see any purple rock at the bottom, but he went down to check. There wasn't a trace of the mysterious place he had mined into before. Thinking it was odd, he went about looking through the ravine and had a busy day of mining ores and stone.

As he sun set he wandered how he managed to store so many items and blocks. Before it had seemed... so instinctive, but now he couldn't remember how. He only remembered how to store things in his hot bar, and that was no use. Soon enough he realised his pockets opened up to massive chasms.

With that mystery solved he started to go back home... and he saw a glint below some water. He inhaled sharply. Could it be? He went over and stopped the water. It was DIAMONDS! He quickly mined the first block and there was more. But as he was about to mine it he felt a drop of the water land on his hand. "GAH!" What was in that _water_?

Then he looked at the water spout. It was clear. How odd, he thought, that it stung me. It must have contained some spider dung or something, that stuff was pretty bad. But he'd never know any water that stung! "Ah well" he said " I'll just mine the diamonds and go back home" He mined the diamonds, and used the cobble to get back up to the top of the ravine.

When he got back to the town he shouted to his friends so that they'd knew it was him. They came to the battlements, and they seemed incredibly slow. They slowly opened their mouths and noise came out, although it sounded like someone shouting slowed down fifty times. He sighed. Obviously one of the pranks they had been playing recently. But then Alex slowly pulled out a bow and notched an arrow, pointing at Flynn. "Come on! It's not funny any more!" he exclaimed, "STOP!". But then Alex pulled back the string and let the arrow fly, incredibly slowly, towards Flynns head.

And then he knew there was something wrong, because the arrow that should be piercing his head in under a second was still five metres away. He moved out of the way easily and shouted to his friends. "HEY! IT'S ME! THAT'S DANGEROUS,STOP!" But they didn't. Alex fired another arrow. It went incredibly slowly again, and Flynn easily dodged it again.

"HEY!" he shouted again, but there was no effect. Alex stopped notching arrows and reached down, incredibly slowly for his enchanted diamond sword. His mouth opened, and the slowed speech noise came again. Cuba reached across and, incredibly slowly, opened the piston gate. _Finally!_ Flynn thought. They had stopped pulling the prank. But whitest he expected the piston door to be empty, it had a very angry Alex in it. Holding a sharpness V diamond sword. And incredibly slowly, Chopping it towards his friends face...

**===================================-{o}-================================**

**Hehe, had fun writing this. As always, hope you enjoyed, next chapter should be thursday-ish and review, it helps!**


	5. Chapter 4

**HERRO! Sorry I didn't(As I said) update by Thursday-Ish but I suddenly realised I had a big project due last monday so I had to quit writing for a bit. Im back though, I should be fine now :P**

The diamond sword Thrummed with power as it descended past Flynns head. He couldn't believe it, his friends only used that sword in case of emergency! Why were they using it as a prank? Then he saw the look in Alex's eyes and the determination set in his face he realised it wasn't a prank. They were genuinely attacking him.

Which made him wonder. Had they not seen him? But he had shouted. The only explanation was... Well, there wasn't one. His head was starting to hurt and he was feeling tired. Suddenly he just wanted to sleep. So he left for a shelter near there that was abandoned

When he got to his abandoned shelter he lay down and looked at the stars. '_Beautiful'_ he whispered to himself.

_{Night passes}_

When Flynn woke up he saw a shining sun and a few remote clouds. First, he checked his gear. All there, good. He set out to hunt for mobs, as he had forgotten the fact that he had been attacked by his friends. He went into his favourite cave and climbed down the ladder. He found a creeper at the bottom. Instead of coming towards him, it just stood there. Then he heard it say (That's right, SAY)

_Hellotherehowareyoudoing?_ Extremely quick. Flynn was obviously shocked! He had never heard a creeper speak before. He supposed it must be something to do with his friends Slooowly attacking him. He said a hello back, perplexed, and ascended the ladder again.

There had to be an explanation for all this strange stuff happening. Maybe that new ore, 'emerald', Alex had found had some kind of gas inside it. But that didn't explain why Alex wasn't having the same experience.

He wondered if it was just a dream and walked back to their camp. He got inside the gate using the secret button, and picked up the stuff he had left before. There was his gold watch, telling him it was much earlier than he expected. Everyone was still asleep. And so he waited...

…. and morning came. Alex got out of bed, stretched, and checked the village. Nothing had happened, but the piston door was somehow open. He checked Flynn's house for the fifth time in the two days he had been away. Surprisingly, there was a bulge under the covers. He lifted them. There was an Enderman! He raised his sword to attack...

…. and then he saw the sign the Enderman was holding. He had never seen them hold signs so he looked at what was written. '_Why were you attacking me before?'_ Alex was stunned. He never knew Endermen could write!

**===================================-{o}-================================**

**Sorry about this not being exactly on time. :S. I got caught up doing other things and just forgot about this. Also, it's a little short because I wanted to get it out there as soon as possible so people know it isn't dead.**

**Rate and Review (if you like) and the next one should be sooner.**


End file.
